When I got there, with a massive lump of fear in my throat, I was still kidding myself I could turn back. For here I was on the verge of massive infidelity. It’s one thing to have a one-night stand, a spontaneous act to regret when sober inth e morning, but to take time to care fully plan the act was another thing entirely. And at that moment even the planning could be dismissed as a flirtiong version of chcken. And I think eithr that day or at that time we boith expressed surprised that the other was serious She was just going along with it to see how far I would go, and i was doing the sme, I wanted to see at which point she was joking. So
So she met me at the door, in “those” pyjamas. She wqws drowsy, form the painkillers. I suggested that she may be too unwell to proceed but she threw the challneg back to me as she climbed back into her bed.
I thinmk at the time I was starting to thinkin that it was all a little tawdry and that perhaps this was not her firsdt time doing this. Indeed her suggestions and diurections forth plans seemed to be without any reservation, nerves or uncertainty.
Oh well, what the hell me thinks. Even a dodgy root was better than none (that is one of the phiosphies that I have had had the misfortune to carry through my life – a sex life that is based based on quantity not necessarily quality or if there hass been qualities they are not virtuous ones associated with e sacred act).
So I undressed, probably down to my jocks and jumped in.
The first thing that I found was the softest skin I have ever felt. It was like nothing I had every touched before. She was aware there was something unique about her skina nd said something about hair eithr the lack there of or it’s type. A genetic thing that her dad I also had (or maybe I got that wriong). And her curves, she had aamazing curves.
As I recall the act was nothing amazing but certainky not disappointing. There was definitely some promise. But her manner was indifferent and detacthed. I stayed in bed with her for a while and we spoke, I told her a bit about myself and a few dreams etc. She listened, or at least didn’t interrupt. There was a relaxing vibe about the situation and before father time took our time away I managed another quick session.
I seem to recall that she denied me when I tried to go down on her. Her excuse was that it’s beverf very good and she’s not a fan. On subsequent occasiosn, Once I had priven myself worthy and the act worthwhile for her, she would occasionally deny me with excuses about not showeringand feeling dirty. This is understandable but it was used inconsistently such that I later came to the conclusion that when I was denied it was because she was worried that “the room had not been properly cleaned since the prevous occupant had checked out” – yup, I was not alone. Over time, I recognised that her inability to be exlusive for part of something much biiger, and such was my conern for her that any jealousies were cast aside as I tried to help her. Don’t het me wrong, she wanted to be faithful and her heart was faithful (at least to me and GRegor *(TBC)).
But I diverge and we will explore that side of Ruby and me later on.
I think after that first time there may have been an awkaward silence between us for a few hours or even days as we digested what we had done. Knowing her now, she would have been filled with both remorse as well as hope. More of that revlentaion later too
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